9 Ways to Decode Your Girlfriend’s Text Message
In: Guides
29 Sep 2008
If you’ve ever watched “Law and Order”, “Alias”, or even Meet the Parents, you probably know a thing or two about how to read people. Watch where their eyes go, read their body language, listen to the tone of their voice-it will all give you little clues to tell if they’re sincere, if they’re lying, if they’re interested in you or if they’re just bored.
Unfortunately, today’s dating scene comes with one secret weapon designed to break you down: texting. A text has no body language and no tone, it’s just flat words on a shiny LCD. So how do you read a text without having a day long agony-fest over what it actually means? Easy. You’ve got me for that. So boys, saddle up: here’s the go-to guide for what she’s actually saying.
***
1. Periods. Any time she writes a period at the end of the text (when the otherwise general lack of words would suffice to show that the thought is over) she’s one of two things: demanding, or pissed off. Probably at you. If you’re getting a lot of them, it’s a safe bet that you’re in trouble.
2. Exclamation Point! This is a universal sign of excitement, and it means she wants you to immediately picture her smiling and eager. Generally a good thing, unless she’s got energy to beat out the energizer bunny.
3. Question Mark? Obviously, questions need appropriate punctuation, especially in texts were there is no tone. Frequent question marks-especially when there isn’t really a question, like ‘We’ll meet up later?’ means she’s harboring some serious insecurities about your relationship.
4. What’s Up? If this is all the text says, it means she’s trying to ‘get in’ without being clingy or demanding. It’s a conversation starter that she hopes will earn her a few text messages and maybe even a rendezvous at the end. She’s playing it cool but wants you to be thinking about her.
5. Later. If she’s a buddy, ‘later’ is totally standard. If she’s your leading lady, ‘later’ is not good. Think about it-there’s ‘see you later’, ‘talk to you later’, and all sorts of ways of making plans in very casual ways, but she’s going out of her way to be brief and noncommittal. Not a good sign for you.
6. Umm… Look, we all say ‘um’ naturally in conversation at some point in time, but it’s different if she’s going out of her way to write it down. Whatever you just asked her, she doesn’t want to do it and she’s sincerely hoping you’ll take the hint.
7. Seriously? Other than a sign that she’s not taking you at your word (or she generally doesn’t believe you) this is also probably a good hint that she watches too much Grey’s Anatomy. Need to reconnect? Catch a couple episodes to find out what you can do to bring a little more McDreaminess into her life.
8. Walk? Don’t mistake this with “take a hike”. If a girl ever asks you to take a walk with her (and you’re interested in her), say yes. Not only is exercise good for you, but walks are intimate without being sleazy, opportunities for great conversation but also won’t suffer if conversation falls silent for a minute. It also shows girls that you’re willing to show up and just be there with no other motivation than good company, and to a girl, that’s 90% of the game. Not a bad time to sneak in a casual kiss either….
9. Nicknames. I don’t know if you missed third grade, but just like hitting, nicknames are good, and especially good if she’s using some of her limited per-text character allowance to do it. Nicknames-made more powerful in space restricted texting when it’s obvious who the text is going to-are always a reminder of special connections. With your friends they generally allude to fun times, and with your girl it’s an establishment of intimacy. So be warned, if she’s jumping on the nickname train too early, she might be a stage-five clinger.
Go forth and conquer now that you can read her like a book. 
***
Got any specific questions on decoding your girl? Put it in the comments section and I’ll clear it up for you straightaway.
- Tags: body language, chick, dating, dating game, female, game, girl, girls, messages, mixed messages, moves, punctuation, sex, text messages, texting, texts, tone, woman, women
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41 Responses to 9 Ways to Decode Your Girlfriend’s Text Message
confused
October 14th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
what about those stupid emoticons or whatever they are called?
wondering
October 14th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
I’ve got a question- I really suck at making conversation, but she does seem to be interested in talking to me and sends me text messages often just to ask how my day is. Is she just being polite, or is she really interested?
Judous
October 14th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Great article, I generally agreed to everything said. But just to be sure I went through my text messages and I have to say your 100% spot on (at least in my case)
LOL
October 14th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
Some dork writing a how-to read girls article for other dorks. !!
isral
October 14th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
well, don’t mistake a girl who just wants attention for a girl who likes you just because the “good” rules seem to apply.
slum
October 14th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
this is a thirtysomething list? for me this list does not apply to my girls but is pretty good for my women.
dude
October 14th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Here’s a hint for ladies: guys don’t spend all day agonizing over what a text message actually means. 90% of your subtext is lost on men in the first place, and texting strips another 9.9% out. If you really want to communicate by text, say what you mean. It’s so much simpler that way.
Kevin
October 14th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
“Any time she writes a period at the end of the text… she’s one of two things: demanding, or pissed off.”
That, or it means she went to school and is not a complete illiterate.
Painter
October 14th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
lol ya my girl keeps texting “its whatever” when we get in even a little fight and i say sorry. it has got to be one of the most annoying phrases ever. ” im really sorry baby” and all you get back is “its whatever”
guy
October 15th, 2008 at 12:30 am
how bout the annoying “…” at the end of the text, nothing is worse when you know they are pissed or upset and use that crap and they won’t admit it.
Morgan
October 15th, 2008 at 1:16 am
This would have helped me so much about 3 weeks ago before we broke up, but this is basically true. *tear*
LOL!!!
October 15th, 2008 at 3:24 am
Boys are so silly.
Preperation Never Hurts « Single Man’s Advice
October 15th, 2008 at 3:28 am
[...] Either way, a little deciphering recon can’t hurt to know. Bookmark this post from Cellphone.org. Its an indepth look at what she’s probably thinking when she’s texting you. [...]
thepirata.com - your daily dose of anything » Blog Archive » A Guide to What Her Text Messages REALLY Mean
October 15th, 2008 at 3:39 am
[...] A Guide to What Her Text Messages REALLY Mean Spitted out by munky on October 15th, 2008. Filed under: ListenToMe Women are confusing. They mean things they don’t say, say things they don’t mean and there is a hidden meaning to everything. We have all heard the stories about what her body language really means…but what about her text messages? Honestly, I have never thought about it before—but the folks at Cellphones.org have. According to their analysis, putting a period after a message means she is demanding or pissed off. Really? If she says “whats up?” that means she is trying to get close to you without being clingy or bitchy. Wait…really? Some of it seems like common sense, but it is an interesting psychological study nonetheless. Take a look at the rest of the list and see if you agree. [Cellphones.org] [...]
Sex, Lies and Texting: Decoding Your Girl - Guides - Cell Phones.Org | Seth Goldstein Online
October 15th, 2008 at 3:58 am
[...] Sex, Lies and Texting: Decoding Your Girl – Guides – Cell Phones.Org. [...]
Midterm Haze « Misa’s World
October 15th, 2008 at 4:24 am
[...] article on interpretting female cellphone text messages, i found it quite amusing, tho somewhat [...]
Lindsay
October 15th, 2008 at 5:05 am
Did you get those third graders handing out nicknames to help you decode these text messages? Some people do use correct punctuation when texting and not all girls like Grey’s Anatomy.
Ummm......
October 15th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I agree with everything especially that this is about “GIRLS” because grown women do not play this game!
Darker Me
October 15th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Bitches will screw you! One way or another!
actual girl
October 15th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
yeah, this is definitely incorrect, at least as it applies to me. your best bet is to actually GET TO KNOW the lady in question and her personal texting style, b/c i’m sure it differs all across the board.
i do agree on the exclamation point thing tho, UNLESS i’ve just texted “OMG my cat died!!” <– not smiling
the champ
October 15th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
hey guys this is a well written guide, btw if a girl text messages you asking how your day was shes interested, remember guys have to initate everything with girls and when a girl takes the lead she is interested. I dont know why anyone would say this guide is bad, its decent. Simple and effective. enough said.
AC Gaughen
October 15th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Hey Guys,
AC here!
@wondering, and in agreement with “the champ”: yes, if a girl is texting you to ask about seemingly nothing (like how your day went), and you’re not friends, she’s interested.
@Lindsay: You’d be shocked at the number of girls who do like Grey’s Anatomy.
@dude: I so whole heartedly agree with you, girls should stop agonizing, overanalyzing, and torturing themselves–but change doesn’t happen overnight.
@guy: the ellipsis (…) is even worse than a period.
@Morgan: so sorry to hear you guys broke up! You’re well informed for next time.
Thank you guys so much for reading the article! It’s great to get this kind of feedback.
xAC
Analyzing your female: How to decode her text messages | GearCrave | The Mens Buying Guide for Gadgets
October 16th, 2008 at 5:27 am
[...] texting habits will undoubtedly help you predict the next time you’ll be sleeping alone. [via Cellphones.org] Posted In: [...]
Kevin Salas
October 16th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Emoticons determine tone way more than punctuations. You can numb the sting of a cocky comment by adding a smily face at the end.
What’s up buttface
The PHA : links for 2008-10-16
October 16th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
[...] Sex, Lies and Texting: Decoding Your Girl – Guides – Cell Phones.Org LOL indeed (tags: women tips texting text tech study sms lol relationships girls entertainment cellphones) [...]
Joenel Umal - Decode Your Girls Text Messages
October 17th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
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October 20th, 2008 at 5:19 am
[...] article on interpretting female cellphone text messages, i found it quite amusing, tho somewhat [...]
im not sayying
October 24th, 2008 at 3:14 am
heyy i like this girl and we talk she flirts and we talked about like gfs and bfs and she said yah im not going out with anyone untill next year and i asked her out once and she turned me down.. 7 month ago.. hellp
im not sayying
October 24th, 2008 at 3:14 am
oh and she says shes waiting for the right guy
Gadget» Blog Archive » A Guide to What Her Text Messages REALLY Mean [Cellphones]
October 31st, 2008 at 4:40 am
[...] Women are confusing. They mean things they don’t say, say things they don’t mean and there is a hidden meaning to everything. We have all heard the stories about what her body language really means…but what about her text messages? Honestly, I have never thought about it before—but the folks at Cellphones.org have. According to their analysis, putting a period after a message means she is demanding or pissed off. Really? If she says “whats up?” that means she is trying to get close to you without being clingy or bitchy. Wait…really? Some of it seems like common sense, but it is an interesting psychological study nonetheless. Take a look at the rest of the list and see if you agree. [Cellphones.org] [...]
Amber
November 24th, 2008 at 2:31 am
I don’t think this “guide” is really correct. I am a girl and I text my friends a lot, but I type correct punctuation so the period thing at the end of a sentence isn’t true. Also, the ‘later’ comment might not be true. Maybe she is pissed…or maybe she’s in class and can’t text out or doing something else and can’t text long responses. I would also like to p;oint out that I’m a flirt and use pet names on the daily in general talking and texting. THere’s more things about this article I could point out but I won’t.
I commend you on making an article that seem to help out some people, but for me I didn’t agree with it completely.
Skimpy Sexy Thongs » Seduction & Relationship Advice, Fifth Edition
January 25th, 2009 at 7:01 am
[...] Gaughen presents Sex, Lies and Texting: Decoding Your Girl posted at Cell [...]
Want To Freelance » Cracking the Query Letter
March 5th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
[...] your work, and what you feel is your best, or most topical, pieces] My blog Adventures With Photos Sex, Lies and Texting: Decoding Your Girl, a featured article on a 3.4 million unique hits/month industry blog The Ultimate Guide to Cell [...]
liz
August 18th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Can u please help me figure out what this text that was sent to my husband from another woman means? It’s obviously something inappropriate, but please do your best.Thanks: dferwjkiuocxdfesrw21nbjhkiuopsawqnmjktfdrebghyudsewqkjliosdwqmkof***me
christian
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:02 am
like it… but i really want to know!!!! shes my ex and i am gettin.. not all the time but random.. still x or xo or xox….. or (-: x .. please let me know wat she means an d why and when shes using it!!!!
nate
October 5th, 2009 at 4:16 am
i text a girl hmm, tuesdays, fridays n sundays, we start like around 9 p.m and stop around 2 or 3 a.m…..you guys think she may be interested in me????
mwtman
October 11th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
well if she wasnt interested in u shw would say at 12am i goin bed lets talk 2mora m8, jus ask her on a coffee date already damn, p.s u guys look like u got a schedule she knows your every move dont be to predictable nate!!!
John
October 24th, 2009 at 1:04 am
So i asked a girl that i have been on multiple dates with if she was going to home coming with anyone and she responded “no.” Am i supposed to ask her?
Zach
November 26th, 2009 at 3:33 am
so theres a girl who texts me sometimes about school and we chat on facebook a bit. she uses exclamation points sometimes, mostly when shes says “ill see you tomorrow” or “ill talk to you later” we hang out a bit in school and i make her laugh, but everyone else is laughing to. and sometimes we make eye contact for a couple seconds. its not a serious look but it is a good eye contact. does she like me?
Aaron
February 4th, 2010 at 4:23 pm
what does it mean when a girl says “…” alot and says nothings wrong but continues to do it?and “…” is the when message nothing else.
Steph
February 7th, 2010 at 1:57 pm
I agree with this 100% but could make a little list or something for guys too? They aren’t always transparent!