With the pervasiveness of cell phones around the world and the never ending spirit of human ingenuity, it should come as no surprise that, in a pinch, people have managed to find ways to use their cell phones for some crafty, alternate purposes for which they were never intended. And who knows, maybe you’ll find the need to give these a try with your own phone one day.
1) Detonators
It takes less than two minutes and the use of a screwdriver to turn a cell phone into a detonator for a bomb, making cell phones pretty much the simplest and most plentiful choice around the world for people looking to blow crap up aside from a box of M-80s and a book of matches. It’d be nicer if people were using cell phones as planters or pooper scoopers but sometimes the world sucks.
Because they’re so easy to get ahold of and convert, and the technology is nearly identical from one phone to the next, it doesn’t take much effort to learn the ropes. In fact, if you Google it, you’ll find instructional videos posted online that tell you how to make detonators, should you have a desire to shut down your place of business for a few days, or whatever other explosive whims you may have.
Radio jammers can be used to stop the bombs, of course, but the technology isn’t as readily available in all locations and causes too much disruption in places that aren’t already war zones that rely on those same signals to get legitimate work done and/or allow people to tweet what they’re doing every 10 minutes. Because of that, and the fact the timer in a phone can be used as well so no signal even needs to be sent at the risk of being jammed, cell phone are one of the number one DIY detonators on the market. Please use that knowledge responsibly.
http://www.textually.org/textually/archives/2005/08/009701.htm
2) Sex Toy
Very likely the day after a cell phone with a vibrate function was invented, someone thought this up, but that doesn’t change the fact that technically it’s an alternate and novel use for your phone.
Companies like Vibelet.com saw the vibrating phone and figured they had a winner and with a simple java program managed to make a phone that vibrates until you make it stop. Why would someone want a phone that never stops vibrating? Ask the lonely lady at the end of the bar…
The advantage of the phone is, of course, it’s discrete. If your phone rolls out of your purse by accident, no one’s going to bat an eye. The same can’t be said for many “personal massagers” which usually bear striking resemblances to horrifying and disembodied rubber wangs.
Since Vibelet came up with the idea about 6 years ago, it’s spread like wildfire across the internet and now you can download the software for free from dozens of sites. Elsewhere you can even buy accessories to plug into your phone to expand your lonely fun, if you’re into that sort of thing. The world is a wondrous place.
http://www.wired.com/techbiz/media/news/2003/04/58442
3) Meeting the Ladies
Any trip out to a club that is designed to meet a special lady friend generally requires the use of a wing man, at least in college circles because this is the way frat thinking works. You need a guy to run interference if any pushy friendes are around, and potentially a guy to talk you up and make you look more awesome than you already are. But what to do when no one is available that night? Sure, you could pack it in and try again later, or you could follow the advice in this handy video and just bring your cell phone.
Will the methods described therein work at all? Probably not, they’re a bit cheesy. If a woman sees pictures of a kitten on your phone, you may end up ostracizing yourself horribly. Conversely, if she is enamored with your kitty phone, she may not be the kind of girl you want to meet.
On the other hand, cell phones can still be useful tools. For instance, the website popularitydialer.com exists solely to help you be more popular than you already are. Get yourself set up on the site and, when you’re out at the club, they will call you at prearranged times so you can play off like people just can’t leave you alone.
Of course, if you’re really desperate and don’t want to go to the trouble of using popularitydialer, you could always just set your phone in front of a woman and say “I can’t find my phone number, can I have yours?” and hope for the best. No guarantees on results.
http://www.howcast.com/videos/28877-How-To-Use-Your-Cell-Phone-As-a-Wingman
4) Weapon
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, whatever you can grab in a timely fashion becomes whatever it is you need. So say you’re an angry supermodel and you really want to teach someone a blunt trauma lesson – you just might grab your phone and go to town.
If you recall a few years back, Naomi Campbell was apparently getting ready to do a spot on Oprah when she decided her housekeeper stole her pants. Her natural reaction was to hurl her phone at the woman. The phone cut her so badly she needed four stitches. That’s a hardcore phone. Or Campbell has a good arm.
Back in 2007, rapper Foxy Brown beat a woman senseless with her Blackberry, raining down blows hard enough to chip her tooth and give her a black eye. Brown plead guilty after being charged with a misdemeanor charge of “menacing” and ended up getting time served.. No word on how well her Blackberry held up to the event, but the victim was treated for loose teeth, so you have to figure the Blackberry is a well made tool.
One of the most dramatic incidents’ of cell phone weaponry came during a mid 90’s boxing match between Andrew Golota and Riddick Bowe. After a number of low blows from Golota, someone from Bowe’s corner took a wicked old school 90’s cell phone and smashed Golota in the face with it, touching off a riot and leaving Golota with a gash that required 11 stitches.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,1178538,00.html
5) Modem
If you’re in a pinch with your laptop and need to access the internet, there’s always the possibility you can get the most bang for your cell phone buck by using your phone as a modem. Will it be as good as a standard wireless connection? Probably not, but if you’re out in the middle of nowhere, it sure beats wishing and hoping for an unsecured signal to roll past.
Basically you need a phone that is web enabled, which should be just about every phone made in the last few years. If you’re still holding on to your 1995 Nokia, this may not work for you.
If you have a data package you’re off to a good start. Unlimited minutes, free long distance, these things can also help, and you’ll need a data cable to connect to phone to the laptop. Once it’s plugged in your computer should recognize the phone as a modem.
Ideally you should give it a spin from home first before you try out on the road, just in case your computer has an issue recognizing your phone. That knock-off iPhone you bought on the street for $50 might have some sketchy software inside which your computer may not be friendly with. But once you have it set up and able to run, you’ve just extended your wireless zone to pretty much anywhere, so no more waiting until that vacation’s over to send in the files you’ve been working on, you can do it right from the beach you lucky dog.
http://www.pcworld.com/article/140028/use_your_cell_phone_as_a_modem_for_your_pc.html
http://mobileoffice.about.com/od/usingyourphone/a/cellmodem.htm
6) Remote Control
It didn’t take long for some ingenious inventor to realize having more than one remote control was a super waste of time. What’s the fun of sitting and turning stuff on if you have to sit and grab different remotes to do it? May as well stand up or some other foolish thing. But not any more.
Thanks to AVShadow, you can make your Blackberry to pretty much everything except love you and odds are the app for that will come out later in the year. With a simple download and the Bluetooth compatible little widget that costs about $100, you can turn on your TV. Or DVD player. Or VCR. Or iPod. Or open the garage door. Or up to 16 infrared devices you happen to have lying around including thermostats and baby monitors. You may never have to stand up again.
For the less techy and more DIY, there are some helpful hints and tips online to make your own circuit board that you can plug into your phone to use as a remote control. But it won’t control as much as the AVShadow and there’s always a chance it will teleport you into the TV where you’ll be doomed to spend eternity.
http://www.popsci.com/gear-amp-gadgets/article/2009-01/control-anything-your-cell-phone
